


Say My Name

by sharedwithyou



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angstangstangst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Castiel Being a Dick, Castiel Being an Idiot, Dean Being an Asshole, F/M, Mindfuck, Mostly humor, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Sorry guys the Angstmaster is Back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7779064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You in the mood for pizza?”</p><p>So that’s how you ended up in bed with Dean Winchester. It was just that fucking easy.</p><p>You’d always sworn that the son of a bitch player wouldn’t get the best of you.</p><p>But you were tired, and it had been a long week.</p><p>Long week of killing shit, and being thrown around by the shit you were trying to kill, and the hardest of all, trying and failing at getting a moment alone with Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY NOT SORRY
> 
> so being Bucky and all I've churned up my usual humor with a huge fucking side of angst
> 
> or is it my usual angst with a fucking side of humor
> 
> nahh i like to let the humor take front seat. you know, so the angst hurts more.
> 
> anyway, not my fanverse, probably not accurate, just read and enjoy yadayada
> 
> fyi this is really fun and funny up to a certain part, so if you want to read it just as a fun one-shot i've put a big ~~~~~~~~~ so you know where the angst starts. i mean the angst is good but it hurts so you know
> 
> sorry lovelies, but it's me. please leave me a comment if you enjoyed. you guys keep me going!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Angstmaster (and Mindfucker but who's counting)

 

“Hey sweetheart.”

“Hey back atcha.”

“You in the mood for pizza?”

“Not that hungry.”

“For food, anyway?”

“…what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

So that’s how you ended up in bed with Dean Winchester. It was just that fucking easy.

You’d always sworn that the son of a bitch player wouldn’t get the best of you.

But you were tired, and it had been a long week.

Long week of killing shit, and being thrown around by the shit you were trying to kill, and the hardest of all, trying and failing at getting a moment alone with Castiel.

And yes, Sam was a great ear when you needed to talk about all your touchy-feely crap, but if you spilled anything about your little crush, he’d blab to Dean right away, and it would get around to the Child through some awkward, untimely fashion.

So, while he was flitting around doing intel and whatever the crap he was up to when he wasn’t beaming in and out like Scotty, you’d sit here stewing in your own juices.

Which, evidently, were bubbling over.

 

“I bet you’ve never had it this good.”

You weren’t sure if this was sexy-talk or his own ego-stroking, but it was distracting from the enjoying the actual experience.

“Come on, (y/n), I want to make you squeal.”

Oh, ew.

“Say my name.”

It felt good, in a twisted kind of way. The movements, his skin against yours, the pressure lessening, if not from your heart than elsewhere.

“Say it.”

 

**“Cas!!”**

 

So that was a booboo.

 

 

“So she said-“

“Yeah.”

“And did he-“

“Mhm.”

“…damn.”

Sam waved over the waitress for another round of shots, as Dean nursed the beer he was toying with in between.

“That must’ve been a bullet to the ego.” Sam sympathized.

“Can’t say I ever expected that to happen.”

“Especially from (y/n)?”

“She resisted my charms for long enough. Didn’t expect to ever check that off the bucket list.”

“And, that… attitude is why.”

“Well, it’s over, anyway. Punched that hole easily enough.”

His head slammed into the table a second later. Waitresses turned, but Sam waved them away with a ‘he deserved that one’ look.

 

“A bit harsh, (y/n).”

“Well, Sam. I punched that a-hole easily enough.”

 

 

“So you’re not injured-“

“No.”

“But you screamed-“

“It’s kind of hard to explain.”

“…okay.”

You looked up at the adorable idiot from under a stack of blankets as he paced back and forth slowly.

If you weren’t so mortified you’d be falling on the floor laughing at the image of Dean busting out the door with half his butt still hanging out his pants.

Also falling on the floor would reveal your not-so-impressive abs. And boobs.

“So I’ll see you later?”

“…” He darted his eyes around, looking everywhere but at you.

“After I put my clothes on?”

 

He blinked, or maybe you blinked; either way he was gone.

 

 

“So, should we just leave him here? Unconscious?”

“Sit down, Sam. I want a drink. And I’m not doing it alone.”

He let out a chuckle and moved his brother’s face out of the way so the waitress could put the shots down.

“So you wanna fill me in, then?”

“Long version or short version?”

“Start with the short.”

“I like Cas and I fucked Dean.”

“Hmm, maybe elaborate a little.”

 

Alone in the hotel room now, Castiel sat down heavily on the couch and stared at the bed where he’d found the two of you.

An absurd thought crossed his mind as he replayed the image of his two friends’ bodies mashed together; that this was the first time you had called for him when you weren’t alone.

Every other time you’d had some problem that needed fixing, some wounds that needed healing.

Not that you’d have another reason to ask for him otherwise.

He’d just hoped, somehow, that you’d grow to see him more than a soldier in this war.

But being winsome was not an angel’s nature; so he’d kept his nose to the grindstone.

And now this?

Making him party to some perverse game of sexual frustration?

Drawing him in to watch an utter betrayal of a hope that he’d held so close?

 

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever disengage the beloved sound of your voice from the heartache of seeing you in another man’s arms.

 

He needed a drink.

 

 

“Evening, friends.”

You looked up and choked on your sip as the Holy One stumbled into your table.

“Uh, normally you wait until you get to the bar before getting smashed, Cas.”

“I decided to try out the minibar first.”

“What?! That’s gonna cost a fucking fortune!” Those were Dean’s first words as he came to; you hopped off the stool and grabbed your coat.

“Guess I’ll head back and assess the damage then.”

“Take Tipsy with you, (y/n).”

“No!” You bit out sharply, giving Sam a warning look. He merely pushed Castiel in your direction as a response.

“Come on. You’re the designated driver.”

“We walked!”

“Well, Dean and I need some alone time. Winchester bonding and all.”

“You do that by shooting. And stabbing.”

“Go.” You threw a dirty look at Sam and Dean, but managed to keep Cas from face-planting onto the linoleum as you dragged your asses out of there.

 

“I would think that angels would have more tolerance.”

“Can you not yell? My head hurts enough as it is.” Evidently hammered Castiel was grumpy Castiel.

“I wasn’t yelling. Now hold still. Let me ice that bump on your forehead.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten it in the first place if you’d kept a better hold on me.”

“You banged your head on the door Cas. Before I could open it.”

“Still your fault.” He grumbled, twisting his neck away from your hand.

 

“Just let me take care of you for once.”

 

He let out a gravelly sigh, but sat still enough for you to smooth his hair out of his face and apply the cold washcloth.

“I take it we accidentally scarred you for life.” Now that you couldn’t avoid him, you might as well be straight up about it.

“Can’t say I’ve ever walked into anything like that in all my years.”

“Sorry about that, again.” You looked down, wondering what the pure-hearted angel must think of you.

He stared at the ceiling, keeping his arms limp by his side, so you continued holding the icepack to his face for him. It felt nice to finally feel his skin.

Silence lapsed for a while, before he spoke again.

“What I don’t understand is why you called me there in the first place.”

Your cheeks colored and you wondered if he was just playing naïve.

“It was an accident, Cas.” If he wanted you to admit something, you weren’t going to play. You’d revealed enough of yourself tonight. In more ways than one.

“…did it hurt, then?”

“…what?!?!”

“Is that why you called?”

“…of course not!”

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He couldn’t really be that daft.

He nodded quickly, causing the ice pack to slip out of your hand. You reached down to grab it, but he stopped you.

He then placed both hands on your shoulders, and looked you in the eye.

 

You felt your heart stop.

 

“So you called me in so I could watch the woman I love be screwed by another man?”

 

You stared at him, not even feeling your jaw drop.

Maybe the accusatory tone and preposterous assumption should have been in the front of your mind.

But you were frozen on ‘woman I love.’

 

He didn’t take your silence well.

 

“And by my closest friend, no less?!”

 

“Cas… I-“

“If you did not return my sentiments, you could have said so. This?! This is beyond the pale.”

“What-“ You grasped at his words, a knot of anxiety and hurt twisting in your stomach.

“How can you not be disgusted with yourself?”

You felt something along the lines of a bullet to the chest; but this was no hunt.

 

“I didn’t know how you felt, Cas.”

You had so many rebuttals and indignations to express; but somehow this was what came first.

He stared at you impassively, and you steeled yourself for some accusatory judgement.

 

Perhaps this was the price for falling for an angel; was the absurd thought that popped into your mind as silence permeated the room.

 

Finally, he nodded briskly once more. “Very well.”

You crossed your arms now, the full sting of all his words weighing onto you.

“In that case, I apologize for my previous allegations.”

You narrowed your eyes at him; he didn’t sound very sorry.

“I guess I should find someone who won’t fall into bed with the first man who looks at her.”

You inhaled sharply, feeling your palm raise into the air.

But he turned around, unaware of the social customs of facing your weaknesses and getting slapped in the face when you deserved it. Just like he didn’t understand sleeping with someone didn’t mean anything.

“I thought you didn’t even get along. You always said you hated him.”

 

 

“Right now, Castiel, I hate you more.”

 

 

“You sure you want to go for round two?”

“Hey, you didn’t even get to finish last time.”

“Well, I was rudely interrupted last time, wasn’t I?”

Maybe Dean’s pride healed faster than yours. Maybe shagging you just meant that little to him.

The reason didn’t really matter; you deserved to have some fun, especially if you were going to be vilified for it.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be asking him to make an appearance this time. Accidental or otherwise.”

“Wouldn’t matter. He’s been AWOL since Tuesday. You wouldn’t happen to know why, would you?”

“Stop stalling and take off your pants, Dean.”

As he unzipped your dress, you thought about how Cas’s absence had affected you. Not really, as it turns out. Maybe you were mad enough to be glad to be away from him.

Maybe you were numbed by the cold and the fire.

Still, the thought occurred to you to call for him again, this time when you were riding Dean like a jockey.

 

He might even show, considering you hadn’t spoken his name since then.

 

But Dean’s lips were on your neck now, and you decided you’d focus this time, and enjoy him for him.

 

 

And a little part of you suspected the truth; that Cas was watching at that very moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOHOOHOOOO
> 
> give me some love below, lovelies!!
> 
>  
> 
> Random ramblings:
> 
> Poll 1: ANGSTIEST PART?!?! (if you read the angst)  
> the part that hurt most for me was 'how can you not be disgusted with yourself'
> 
>  
> 
> i really toyed with the idea of leaving this as a fun one-shot... but then i wouldn't be able to make a kickass sequel would i ;) speaking of which
> 
> the numb by cold and fire is the fire of cas's "righteous fury' and the cold of how he acted like he didn't care about you anymore
> 
> fyi the cas was watching at the moment thing wasn't cas being a deviant voyeur, that's someone else's prompt ;) it was cas still being there in spirit/popping in because he missed you. and the others of course but mostly you. but he can't show his face now. basically he's showing at least a little regret + tons of longing. but you know, thats for a possible sequel.
> 
> poll 2: sequel?!?! and if so, dean or cas?!  
> yes, dean is all fuckboy in this BUT theres always a possibility i'll make him find out what cas did and get all sexy protective dean.  
> then again cas is just a pure moron so i could have him realize he's a moron and do a complete 180 and fix the fucking mess.  
> or both ;) no wait i don't want civil unrest to happen  
> ...unless i do  
> OMIGOD NOT SURE  
> WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
> 
> poll 3: favorite part?  
> this kind of hurt to write once i got past the hilarious part... but gotta say my fav part is when sam moves dean's unconscious head out of the way so he and lovely can do drinks.
> 
> leave me a comment guys!! til next time
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker/Angstmaster


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get realer, ish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't expect to post a sequel/next chapter so quickly, but inspiration is a bitch (well, not really)
> 
> so enjoy, lovelies!!
> 
> and please please please leave me a comment if you enjoyed!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky

“I’ve missed you.”

His eyes were searching yours, like he wanted you to see something that he couldn’t say.

Did he expect you to say it back?

“It’s been…hard.”

He’d elaborate if he knew how; but he was a man of few words, and this new turmoil that had been coursing within him wasn’t making it any easier.

You wanted to give him the stony glare you’d been saving, but it seemed your silence alone was taking its toll on him.

“Please. Say something.”

 

“Cas…”

 

 

 

“It’s weird. He’s been gone for over a week. He’s not picking up his phone.”

“He probably has some angel duties to take care of. We’re not his only responsibility you know.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like him to be this quiet.”

“Let’s just focus on this case for now,” you butted in to the bros’ exchange.

“Well, we can do it without him. I’m just-“

“Worried, Dean? You always feel like you have to keep an eye on everybody. Let him fly for a bit, man.”

“Cute pun, Sammy. I’m just saying, maybe we should keep an eye out.”

“And we will. But right now, let’s do like (y/n) says and solve this case.”

You rolled your eyes. Sometimes you felt like a freaking third wheel around these nuts. Their relationship was definitely a little unhealthily close.

When Cas was there, you didn’t feel like you had to play monkey in the middle. With another voice around, you didn’t feel like such an intrusion.

But enough about him. You’d take your own advice and do your damn job.

 

And to hell with angels.

 

 

“Cas? It’s Dean again. Fifth message or something. Look, I’m worried about you. Just call me back when you get this okay?”

Castiel watched the blinking icon disappear after he listened to Dean’s latest voicemail. Evidently (y/n) hadn’t filled them in on the situation.

Did she feel it didn’t merit mentioning? Or was it a matter between the two of you?

He felt guilty for abandoning his friends; worse for leaving you with such harsh parting words.

He knew he was a bit backwards, and perhaps too conservative.

He didn’t have anything against intercourse, per se; just as long as it didn’t include you. With anyone else.

His chest tightened at the collective memory of you; your bare shoulders in the moonlight against the sheets, your joy-filled laugh at the small things like when he ran into the door.

Your voice, with all its trepidations and disappointments amid the good moments; and most of all, saying his name.

Whether you were angry or upset; one word and he’d be there in a heartbeat.

 

But he heard nothing from you.

 

 

“Let (y/n) take shotgun this time.”

“What?! I’m always shotgun!”

“Well, there’s a first for everything. Get in the back, Sam.”

“I have the longest legs!”

The two bickered on, leaving you to your inner monologues per use. Still, it was sweet of Dean to offer.

Just like it was sweet the way he kept his arm along your headrest as he drove.

You’d expected him to be distant, short with you after your little indiscretions.

Typical one-night stand syndrome, hit it and quit it lifestyle.

It was part of the reason you’d held out for so long. That and your pathetic hopes that something would happen with Cas.

But he’d been remarkably normal; just as cheeky and obnoxious and perfectly Dean.

 

You never thought you’d be happy to see him continue to be himself completely.

 

 

“Look, Dean. I can’t really explain it, but I can’t come back right now. Something’s come up- well, something came up- I have to be somewhere else right now. I…I have to stay away…”

Cas growled under his breath and pressed 1 to delete the recording. He’d been lucky he went straight to voicemail. If Dean saw a missed call, he’d probably assume the worst and storm Heaven or something.

He’d tried dialing your number three times already, but hung up each time before the first ring.

What could he say?

His words had done enough.

He’d always been so careful to say exactly what he meant; and now he’d gone and muddled things up.

Worse, he’d practically assaulted you with them. He adored your voice, and here he’d used his own as a weapon against you.

He sighed and threw his phone onto the bed, watching it bounce across the pillow.

He massaged his temples when the movement brought the memory of Dean pulling you onto the bed with a chuckle.

He ripped the blankets away and threw them on the ground with a jolt.

 

He guessed he wouldn’t be sleeping today, either.

 

 

“FBI Agents Tootch and Hurner.”

“And…”

“Oh, this is our ride-along Sally. We’re still showing her the ropes.”

“Alright. This way, then, agents.”

Sam gave you a sympathetic look as you resisted the urge to pinch Dean’s arm as he strode away ahead of you.

He’d refused to let you have a badge just so he could humiliate you every time like this.

You stood on your toes so you could whisper in Sam’s ear.

“Tootch and Hurner? Is that supposed to be Hooch and Turner?”

“I stopped asking a long time ago.”

 

“So it seems like just a regular vampire attack, easy peasy. Right?”

“I don’t know, Tootch. I’m just Sally the Intern, remember?”

Dean gave you a toothy grin as Sam cleared his throat and mentioned some unnecessary details about the town. You were distracted with giving Dean the stink-eye as he gave you an unjustly attractive wink.

What an assbutt.

“So, we got a few hours to kill before Edward’s gonna be up right? Let’s go to a diner and get a burger. And check out the local bar scene.”

“Bar scene at 5 PM, Dean?”

“Hey, if there’s any women in there at 5 PM, they’re probably pretty desperate.”

It was a typical Dean comment, but you gave Sam the side-eye anyway. It was something you’d do usually.

 

This time, you actually felt bummed.

 

 

“Hey, Cas. Me again. Look, this doesn’t have anything to do with what happened with me and (y/n) last week, does it? I’m pretty sure you know the birds and bees jazz already. It was just sex. And an awkward encounter. Don’t make it a big thing. If it even is a thing. Which I don’t think it is. I think you’ve gotten yourself in trouble again. So call me back, kid.”

With a crisp bleep, the message was gone. The guilt in Castiel’s stomach lingered, though.

He wondered when he’d be able to look you in the eye again.

 

 

“Something wrong, Dean? You’re actually chewing your burger.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at your comment; usually you’d say something about him practicing deep-throating. This was remarkably mild.

“Still haven’t heard from Cas.”

“Quit looking for problems where there aren’t any, Dean.”

“Someone has to be the responsible one, Sam.”

You pulled out your phone to play Injustice; there was probably going to be a bromancey conversation that you didn’t fit into.

“Excuse me, ma’am. Could we get some more water?”

You only looked up to give the lady Dean called over a ‘thank you’ nod, but you couldn’t help noticing that you were the only one who needed a refill.

 

That was strange; he usually only called over the waitress to give her his number. Or to get him another glass of Coke.

You went back to your game, though, when the boys started an argument about who the hottest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader was.

 

 

 

“Come on, Cas!! Where the fuck are you?!”

“I’m fine, Dean. Stop freaking out-“

“Don’t argue, (y/n). It’s making your neck bleed faster.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as Sam applied pressure to your gaping wound, biting your cheek hard and trying hard not to cry.

You hated getting hurt on the job; you felt like a failure and Dean would call you a crybaby.

“Head for the hospital, Dean. He’s not coming.”

“Damnit Sam, there’s not enough time. Cas!!”

You weren’t sure if Dean was screaming at his steering wheel or his phone; then a wave of pain took over your brain and you stopped wondering about anything.

“I don’t care if you’ve been kidnapped by a thousand demons, Cas, if you don’t teleport here right now I swear I will knife you the next time I see you!”

Dean had given up on his phone and was screaming at the air now.

It was strangely funny; that the cool and collected Dean Winchester could get so freaked out by a little blood.

Then again, the spots orbiting your eyes probably meant it was more than a little.

“Calm down, Dean. The last thing we need is for (y/n) to go into cardiac arrest.”

You tried to laugh, but all that came out was a bloody cough. Sam’s eyes widened as he tried to ebb the bleeding by wrapping his shirt around your neck.

“It’s like… you’re trying…to hide a hickey.” You wheezed, eerily tickled despite the gravity of the situation.

 

 

“Shut up. Just shut up.”

 

 

Dean braked hard and pulled over to the side of the road.

“What the hell, Dean?!”

“There’s not enough time, Sammy. We have to do something.”

You tried to object, but Sam put a hand on your mouth so you’d remember stay quiet and rest.

“Look at me, (y/n). Look at me and don’t let go.”

“Dean-“

“Look at me, damnit!”

The searing pain in your neck had been a clue, and the look of anguish on Sam’s face should’ve made it obvious. But it was the alarm in Dean’s face that caused a rush of fear to take you over.

“It’s going to be okay, (y/n). But I need you to focus on me.”

“Dean…”

“Don’t say anything. Just… just look in my eyes. And don’t stop looking, no matter what.”

You wanted to tell him you were fine, that everything was okay.

All that came out was,

 

“I don’t want to die, Dean.”

 

 

When you felt a warmth spread over you, you thought it was because Dean was cradling you in his arms.

When you saw the look of anger on his face, though, you turned and saw him.

“You son of a bitch!”

You were too tired to try to stop Dean as he barreled into Castiel and pounded the shit out of him.

To his credit, Cas didn’t try to fight back.

You just heard his voice over and over.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

 

Lying in bed now, with Dean’s hand wrapped tightly around yours, you stared up at your savior.

 

“Please. Say something.”

 

“Cas…”

 

And the disappointment in your voice as your fingers bridged the gap to Dean’s bed should’ve killed him, but all he could think was how glad he was to hear you say his name again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEEEEE
> 
> give me some love below!!
> 
> Random Ramblings:  
> Quick Poll 1: WHOOOOO  
> i may or may not be writing another chapter (depending on what you guys say in the comments), so i cannot answer this question myself without jeopardizing any future mindfucks (if there are to be any)  
> whachu guys think about a sequel?
> 
> Quick poll 2: favorite part??  
> mine is probably when dean gives you shotgun. shotgun is a big privilege for me. and it sucks for tall people to sit in the back, so poor sam.
> 
> although cas throwing the blankets on the ground (wherever he's staying/lurking, doesnt really matter) was pretty close to the heart too
> 
> quick poll 3: which part was hardest to read? and/or where do you see this going?
> 
> i purposely left it kind of open-ended in case i decide to write more.  
> so in the end you're not sleeping in the same bed as dean; but he's holding your hand from the bed next to yours. very very cute. hmm maybe that should be my fav part.  
> also cas did NOT leave you to almost die. just realized it might come across that way, somehow. basically he was ignoring Dean's calls (literal and figurative) because he was trying to avoid you, and well, you know what they say about calling wolf. or i guess in this case avoiding calls about wolves. so when it was important for Cas to come, it took a little longer than necessary. part of the reason he lets dean kick his ass. he realizes he should've gotten there sooner.  
> so the i'm so sorry is both to you about what he said, and to all three of you for not being there
> 
> also neither of them said i love you after you almost died because, well, i like to keep things ambiguous. hehehe. and also things have to stay relatively even.  
> oh by the way, dean is the one who says 'shut up just shut up.' i could have written 'dean says'. but like i said i like ambiguity.  
> its a theme in all my fics. heh.  
> damnit i don't know what i'm going to do if i write another chapter.
> 
> anywayyyy thanks for reading lovelies, give me a shoutout below and i'll see you next time!
> 
> XOXO Bucky


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More questions, more answers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DO I DO THIS
> 
> another fun/angsty addition to this quickly unraveling 'one-shot'
> 
> huge shout-out to my lovelies who leave me a comment; honestly you guys make my day, my week, you make my writing so rewarding  
> part of the reason i'm inspired and able to churn out chapters like this is because i feel so encouraged when i hear your kind words.
> 
> i honestly really put heart and soul into all my works, and you lovelies always keep me going.
> 
> so, now we have another crazy chapter that leaves things open-ended... but you know me ;)
> 
> so please, please, leave me a comment if you enjoy!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker

 

“Well, judging from how you’re practically waking the neighbors with your crunching, I’d say you’re feeling better.”

“It’s called Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Dean. You’re supposed to crunch it.”

“Yeah but with you it’s like food porn. Geez.”

Leave it to Dean to compare your recovery with something sexual.

“Morning guys. Nice to see you up, (y/n).” Sam, the nice one, opted for a side-hug to express his relief.

“Thanks Sammy.”

“Hey, only I’m allowed to call him that.”

“No, the rule was only you get to call him Sammy Boy. Sammy on its own is free-for-all.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one who chooses who gets to call me what?”

“Shut up, Sam!” You and Dean spoke in unison, before continuing with your arguing, just like old times.

 

Amidst the chatter, no one asked where Cas had disappeared to, again.

 

 

“Hey, Cas. Sam this time. We all know something’s up, but apparently I’m the only one who wants to talk about it. And since I’m probably the only one who’s completely neutral on this, you might want to call me back. You owe us. (Y/n) gave us all a scare.”

Castiel looked at his phone forlornly and pressed the ‘skip’ button. So now baby Winchester was on his tail too.

He thought about the voicemails from Dean he’d deleted, and now this one.

The only one that was missing was one from you, saying something.

 

Saying anything.

 

 

“So are we going to the morgue first or the lady’s house? Because if you guys decide to split up, I’m going with whoever buys me coffee.”

“Dean you should really give (y/n) her own badge by now. I think she’s put up with us for long enough.”

“Hmm, that will be a no and a no.”

“Jerk.” You reached over to flick him, but he grabbed your finger per use. At least he didn’t bend it backwards like he normally did.

“I mean it. You’re not getting your own badge, and you’re not going out with us today.”

“What?!” You turned indignantly to Sam for support, but he shook his head sympathetically.

“Dean’s right. You need time off. We’d do the same if it was one of us.”

“No you wouldn’t!”

“Well, we’d at least think about it.”

“No!!!! You wouldn’t!!”

“Well, we’d at least stay in the motel room for a good 20 minutes before following-“

“Dean!!” Sam gave his brother a look; Dean’s mouth got them in trouble just as often as it saved them.

“Just wait for us here, (y/n). We’re just a phone call away.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“Good. So you won’t run off like a stupid little one, right?”

You crossed your arms and glared at him balefully, but for once you felt like Dean was only partially being a douche. He was so stupidly protective; but if it he was in your shoes, he’d be booking it to the crime scene for sure.

“We’ll be back soon, okay?” Sam gave your shoulder a friendly squeeze as he hoisted his bag of tricks over his head and walked out the door.

“Oh, come on!!” You turned back to Dean, almost ready for groveling. You loved being on a hunt. “I thought we had something, Dean. What about shotgun?! Did that mean nothing to you?!”

“You can’t sweet talk me, babe. I was born speaking that tongue.” He gave you a cheeky grin before heading out.

“Jerk!!”

“Don’t make me come back and handcuff you to that chair.”

“…” You had no amazing comeback for Dean the Quipster, and it had nothing to do with the invasive mental picture of the two of you getting kinky.

 

Nothing at all.

 

 

“Do you need some milk for your cereal?”

You jumped and reached for the pistol under the kitchen table until you saw it was Castiel in the middle of the room with a gallon of two percent.

“Cas, how many times have we- you scared the living shit- did you steal that from a 7-11?!”

“I’ll pay them back when Sam returns.”

“…try Dean. He keeps plenty of ones.”

With the criminal allegations out of the way, the two of you stared at each other wordlessly.

You could tell from his face that he was holding something, if not everything, in.

You yourself had about a million and three things to yell.

But the look of anguish on his face stopped you.

 

“Are you…better?” He finally managed.

“…yes.”

“…That brings me relief.”

Does it?! Does it, you misogynistic coward who has the most neurotic conscience known to man and the social cunning of a four and a half year-old?!

Those were just a few of the words you had for him, if only he wasn’t mesmerizing those stupid blue eyes that looked so ashamed at himself.

 

So instead, you put the pistol down and reached for a butter knife.

“Wait!! Before you put up a blood seal, please let me at least check your injuries once more.”

You stared at him incredulously. “I was going to make a PB and J.”

“…does this acronym mean you will allow me to stay?”

You let out a long sigh, hating how much you wanted to hug him right now.

 

“I’m just making a damn sandwich.”

 

 

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s going on or not?”

“I told you, the evidence points to a werewolf.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“Obviously, it would be more efficient if we hit up both places at once. So since you’re dragging me to the morgue, I think it’s safe to assume you’ve got something on your mind.”

“You know what they say about the word assume, Sammy-“

“Yes, and right now you’re the one being an ass.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but didn’t bitch when Sam clicked off the radio. “So, spill.”

“It’s just this whole Cas and (y/n) thing is getting on my nerves.”

Sam peered at him curiously. “What Cas and (y/n) thing?”

“You’re kidding right?!”

“Are you going to tell me or not?!”

Dean sighed with exasperation. “Obviously, Cas has got the hots for her. It’s why he’s been so weird. And flaky.”

“And that bugs you…”

“Yes.”

“I was leaving it open for you to elaborate.”

“There’s nothing to elaborate. He’s being irresponsible and he’s a freaking angel. If there’s one thing they’re supposed to be good at, its their job.”

“Cut him some slack; he got there in time yesterday.”

“Yeah, barely!”

Sam wasn’t sure why he was defending him; he was disappointed with Cas’ behavior lately as well. Something in his gut was telling him to keep pushing it though.

“This might be the first time he’s felt attracted to a woman, Dean.”

“Yeah, you can get sprung without leaving the fate of the entire world hanging in the balance!!”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

“Am I?!” Dean pulled over two blocks early and turned angrily at his brother. “(Y/n) almost died yesterday!”

“We don’t know that.”

“I think we do.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.” Playing Devil’s advocate was a little annoying, but Sam was pretty sure he was onto something at this point.

“Well, exaggerating or not, he jeopardized the well-being of someone I really care about. Am I supposed to just let that freakin’ go?!”

 

“And just how much, exactly, do you care about her Dean?”

 

 

“Should I…”

“Just put the milk in the fridge Cas.”

He waffled, before setting it on the counter instead. “I think you should rest in bed, (y/n). That wasn’t a mere scratch last night.”

“I’m fine.”

“Please-“ His voice cracked and you turned from the cutting board in surprise.

 

 

“Let me take care of you. It is all I have ever wanted.”

 

 

Your mind whirled at this, and you felt the blood rushing through your ears.

“Your heartbeat… it is elevated.”

“It’s nothing,” you braved, but you felt your knees weakening and cursed under your breath.

You felt his on your ear the next minute, as he appeared beside you to keep you steady.

“I think I should go lie down.”

“Alright.”

You slung your arm over his shoulder to amble drunk-buddy style over, but he put an arm underneath your legs and lifted you effortlessly.

Your cheeks flushed what was probably firetruck-red, but you had a sudden déjà vu of being held like this the night before.

 

By Dean.

 

 

“Damn, bro. Been a while since you had a crush, ain’t it? I mean, even after you already got the girl in bed.”

“Don’t.”

“You know what they say about friends with benefits; someone always ends up being attached.” Sam practically sang gleefully.

“Quit it.”

“I just think it’s adorable-“

“I swear to God I will break your nose if you don’t shut up Sam.”

“Fine, fine.” Sam held up his hands in a neutral gesture, but he was clearly still amused. “Still, you gotta admit it’s cute falling for the one girl you believe in punching.”

“If you’re done gloating, can we get back to the bigger issue?”

“Right, the werewolf.”

 

“Actually I meant the fact that Cas and I are now in a retarded love triangle.”

 

 

“Are you still feeling dizzy?”

“It’s a little better.” Did Cas know how to diagnose lovesickness?

He nodded briskly, and stood awkwardly by the bed like a soldier at attention.

“You can sit, you know.”

He looked at you with uncertainty, so you patted the covers next to you.

Still, he hovered.

“I… When I saw you in that state yesterday… I have never felt so terrified in my life.”

You turned away, embarrassed. He took it differently.

“I was too forward. I apologize.”

You let out a hollow laugh. “There are a lot of things you should apologize for.”

He lowered his eyes. “I understand.”

 

 

“Caring about me isn’t one of them.”

 

 

You reached forward and grabbed his hand, startling him.

“Sit with me, Castiel. Tell me how you feel.”

“About…”

You held in the sigh of exasperation and pulled him towards you. “About me.”

“Are you sure?”

You could have made him grovel and beg for your forgiveness; but the way he was gazing at you told you more than you needed to hear.

 

“Do it.”

 

He climbed onto the bed, finally, and held his breath.

“May I?”

You felt a shy smile cross your face as he leaned in slowly, carefully, in case you wanted to push him away.

But the feeling of his lips against yours was nothing but sweet.

 

 

“(Y/n)…”

 

 

“Hmm?”

He turned away with an awkward chuckle. “Nothing.”

You hoped he really had more to say than just that.

He didn’t let you down.

“To finally be able to kiss you…

 

I couldn’t help but say your name.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHH MYYYY
> 
> give me some love below!!
> 
>  
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> quick poll 1: WHOOOOOOOOO  
> based on this fic guys ;)  
> i must refrain from answering because a) cas is my fav character and i'm trying not to be biased and b) i'm always having new ideas about next chapters and i don't want to reveal anything
> 
> quick poll 2: FAVORITE PART?!?!!
> 
> oh god i don't know if i can answer this  
> it's tied between Cas saying your name at the end and Dean referring to the biggest issue at hand as his feelings for you ;)  
> because werewolves come and go but lovelies like you are once in a lifetime ;)
> 
> WAIT i've decided; its when Cas thinks you're going to banish him and pleads with you to at least check if you're still injured, and all you were trying to do was make a damn sandwich
> 
> quick poll 3: predictions/wishes for the next chapter? or, if you don't know, what's your fav cereal?! ;)  
> mums the word on my end  
> well, i do like cinnamon toast crunch, frosted flakes and fruity pebbles
> 
> thanks for reading lovelies, and i'll see you soon
> 
> XOXO Bucky


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay let's sort this shit out ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we all need some more humor and fluff in our lives ;) (especially if you read my bullshittery thats 90% angst)
> 
> sooooo heres the next installment!!!
> 
> leave me a comment lovelies!!! seriously it speeds up the process. 
> 
> XOXO Bucky

“So, think you’re mature enough to work with him on this case?”

“What are you talking about Sam?”

“Cas. I think we need him this time.”

“Really? I don’t think so.” Dean looked at his brother suspiciously.

“Are you purposely trying to dodge him?”

“It’s a simple werewolf case-“

“Because you spent an hour bitching about how he was AWOL for so long, you’d think you’d jump at the chance to drag him into it.”

“Don’t be a dumbass.”

“We can always use his help, Dean. Why shoot and stab things if he can smite them?”

“Uh, because it’s fun?! Duh.”

“You know it almost seems like you’re trying to avoid him,” Sam commented gleefully.

“You know it almost seems like you want me to kick your ass.”

“Just suck it up and call him.”

Dean let out an exaggerated sigh, complete with a death glare at his younger brother.

“Fine.”

 

 

**“Cas!!”**

 

 

“So that’s what it’s like.”

He slipped beside you and reached tentatively for your hand, a shy angel in spite of everything.

Everything including making you scream his name.

“Yup. Wait, why?” You turned to him with a smirk. “Were you really a virgin?!”

“It was not a big deal…was it?” His eyes flitted around the room in embarrassment. It was adorable.

“Explains a few things.”

“Did I behave…correctly?”

“Oh, yes you did.”

He nodded, relieved, and stroked your thumb with his. You weren’t sure if his hands were sweaty from your recent…excursion, or if he was nervous per use. Either way, you didn’t mind.

 

People aren’t meant to be good their first time. No matter how much porn they watched to (inadvertently) practice.

You weren’t sure if angels even watched porn.

But it wasn’t so much the motions that put you over the edge.

He was no Dean Winchester, to be sure.

It wasn’t his expert timing or experienced positioning that brought you over the edge.

He was clumsy, awkward, uncoordinated. And you loved him for it.

 

 

 

It was the way he met your eyes, traced your skin, hovered his lips over every inch of you; like you were the most beautiful woman in the world.

Like it was his privilege to be with you.

 

 

 

“Cas if you’re listening for once in your damn life, we need you!”

“Don’t be such a drama queen Dean.”

“Hey, he deserves it Sam.”

 

“I am here now.”

Sam and Dean jumped at the low voice that appeared right behind them.

“Jesus Christ, how many times have we told you- the fuck happened to you?!”

Sam cleared his throat and tried to redirect the conversation back to the case, but Dean was gaping at Cas, coat-less and messy-haired with only half his buttons and his tie completely crooked.

“You look like hell, man.”

“It was more of the opposite, actually, but that is another matter.”

“So these marks one the victims-“

“Opposite of hell? What’s that supposed to mean?!” Dean barreled right over Sam who was still hard at work. Both with his actual job and trying to keep Dean from flying off the deep end over a little crush.

“I’ve said too much,” Castiel intoned.

“Oh, you better say more, or I’m going to kick your angel ass.”

“Guys, can we get back to the important stuff??” Sam was getting fed up with being the only responsible one.

“I agree.”

“Well you can’t just show up looking like the walk of shame-“ Dean spoke judgey-ly, before breaking off and widening his eyes. “You didn’t!!!”

“Did not what?”

“Cut it out, Dean.” Sammy, who had figured out the obvious about 10 minutes ago, was eager to move on.

 

 

“You did not fuck that little slut!!”

 

 

“What did you just call me?!”

Dean jumped as you walked in with a furious look on your face.

“Where the hell did you come from?!”

“Like you have a right to ask anything right now. What is wrong with you?!”

“Me? I’m not the one who’s banging anything within a 5 mile radius that has a penis!”

“This coming from the walking man-whore?!”

“Guys, we’re in a police station-“ Sam pleaded, trying desperately to keep his head (and everyone else’s) in the game.

“Dean, mind the plank in your eye before the speck in hers.” Cas quoted the bible piously.

“Oh don’t act like such a saint! All you got was my sloppy seconds!” Dean leaned forward and shoved him hard across the room.

“Sloppy seconds-“ You balled up your fist and swung, unfortunately caught by Castiel.

“Let me handle this (y/n).”

“You?! You’re the one who called me a slut first!” This alone should have given you the right to smack Dean good, if not Cas as well.

 

 

**“GUYS! WE’RE ON A JOB!”**

 

 

The three of you clamped your mouths shut as Sam gave you all a warning glare.

“Now, here’s what’s going to happen. Cas, you take (y/n) home. (y/n), don’t argue.”

You heaved a sigh, wanting to pummel Dean to a pulp first, but nodded in agreement anyway. It was rare Sammy got all Morpheus-y.

“Dean, you and I will go interview the families of the victims. As professionals. Everyone understand?”

“…fine.” You and Dean mumbled, while Cas gave a grave nod in response.

“Good. Now go.”

Cas held out his hand, and despite being miffed at him, you closed your fingers around his, not noticing the brothers’ eyes widen.

“Let’s get you some rest, (y/n).”

Dean waited til the two of you had vanished before turning to Sam.

 

 

“I may or may not have fucked that one up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> give me a shout-out below!!
> 
> quick poll 1: YOU KNOW THE DEALLLLK  
> i will say this: if you are still team Dean 100% you are definitely biased. i have purposely made it tough to choose ;) (which bites me in the ass because then i have to figure out which man to let down....oops)
> 
> i don't think i'll be doing 2 different endings... i don't really feel like i've closed the book on a fic unless i have one solid ending.  
> i've done different endings in the past a few times, and it's fun, but i really want to keep the complete story kind of linear... ok fine for it to have a solid beginning and one solid ending. the middle is not linear like ever :P
> 
> also had to put a jab in there about the stupid nerfing of angels... they're powerful beings who are never there to take care of demons n shit... 
> 
> quick poll 2: FAVORITE PART?!?!  
> this is tied between me having you and dean say cas's name at the same time ;) MUAHAHAHAHHA and sam screaming to get everyone on track finally
> 
> i was really tempted to put in little snatches of more cas awkwardness... okay i'll probably do that the next chapter
> 
> quick poll 3: what's your awkward first time story?!?! ;) i'm just kidding, it can be the first time doing anything. like, my first kissed i tripped. my brother's first time eating sushi i still have on camera; it's fucking hilarious ;)
> 
> that's all this time lovelies!!!  
> i'll wrap this up soon, but not exactly sure when, so just enjoy the ride!! (SHUT UP TONY)
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> help more mindfuckery is starting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so instead of writing a conclusion, i decided to add a chapter of bullshittery BECAUSE I LIKE MAKING LIFE HARD FOR MYSELF?!?!?!
> 
> anyway, this one's a lot of fun as well so enjoy!!
> 
> and leave a damn comment if you like!!
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker

 

“I know you take pride in your smooth-guy reputation, Dean, but you’re kind of a dink right now.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean, losing a girl to Cas? That’s like losing a girl to…I don’t know, another girl?? When both girls are straight.”

“Can we drop it and interview these people already?”

“Look at you, all work and no play.” Sam continued, figuring Dean deserved it for being a grade A ass.

He earned an elbow in the ribs as Dean rang the doorbell and straightened his jacket.

“Agents Tooch and Hurner, FBI. We’d like to ask you a few questions.”

“…did you say Hooch and Turner?”

“Tooch and Hurner, ma’am. No relation.”

 

 

“Ow, Cas, that’s my hair!”

“Sorry!”

He moved his elbow carefully, as you winced and at the same time tried not to laugh right into his face.

“I hate to bring it up, but you’re also kind of squishing my ankle.”

“…”

He rolled off of you and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling with his arms stretched out on either side of him.

“Everything okay, buddy?”

“It seems lately all I have done is hurt you.”

“Hey, all it takes is some practice.”

He shook his head morosely. “I was speaking of more than the bedroom.”

You tried not to cover your face at how ridiculously idiotic and adorable he was.

“So give me a proper apology.”

He turned to you with a grave, but hopeful face. “And then will I feel absolved?”

“You better.”

He raised an eyebrow and you hopped onto his stomach.

“Say you’re sorry, get over yourself, and ravish me.”

He averted his eyes in embarrassment, and you cackled and bounced on the bed once, causing an involuntary shudder to run through him.

“Don’t worry, Cas. It will be easier this time when I’m on top.”

 

This time, the ripple in the blankets did nothing but remind him of how lucky he was to have you.

 

 

 

“So what’s the plan again?”

“I jump out and wave my arms and make a lot of noise, the werewolves get drawn out, and Cas smites them one by one.”

“So I got these silver bullets for no reason?”

“Don’t spend the whole time chatting up that single mom when we’re brainstorming next time, then.”

Dean growled and stuffed the pistol back into his coat. He was hurting for action, and he was going to get it one way or another. In this case, it would probably be back at the bar when they were done with this mess.

“And by the way, can you say sleazy? That poor woman just lost her husband.”

“I’m just offering her some much-needed comfort.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Both of you shut up.” Sam, having taken been forced into the role as Hunter Alpha/Mother, was considering employment elsewhere.

“Shh! I think I hear them!” Sam rolled his eyes as his brother re-stated the obvious while making more noise instead of less.

“Showtime, then.”

You hopped out of the trees and ran through the woods like Little Red Riding Hood on crack.

“Come out, come out, wherever you areee!”

You screamed a second later and dove into a bush as at least three howls surrounded you.

 

 

**“CAS!!!!!”**

“This was a really stupid plan.”

“You’re just salty that you didn’t get to shoot anything.”

“Says the one who almost got a pinecone up her ass.”

“I was showing off how agile I was.” You dabbed some rubbing alcohol on your scratches. Figures you’d hurt yourself with a plant instead of an actual monster.

“I was already quite aware of that fact, babe.”

It was chauvinistic and inappropriate, but somehow you felt better.

“You’re a pig, Dean.”

“You know it.”

And just like that, the status quo was restored.

 

 

“You know I can bury these bodies by myself, right Cas?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if you wanna talk, then talk. Otherwise pick up a shovel and help me out. It’s creepy to have you standing there like a statue and staring at me.”

“My apologies.” He examined the shovel with distaste, before sticking it into the ground so hard the handle snapped off.

“…just let me do it.”

Cas nodded and dropped the splintered handle into the crater he’d made. “I’d like to discuss our current working dynamic.”

“Our what now?”

“I am afraid certain…emotions are interfering with our general efficacy. And efficiency.”

“Yes. That.”

“And possibly our friendship.”

“Hey, that part is between you and Dean. I just want us to get shit done.”

“That is my intention as well.”

“So we’re on the same page then.”

“Yes. The current situation is less than ideal.”

“In our words, Cas; ‘sort your shit out.’”

“…I’m guessing this is colloquial and not a request to organize fecal matter.”

Sam let out an extremely long sigh. At least he’d understood shit in the first instance. “Yes.”

“I may have a solution.”

“Which would be…?”

 

“I’m taking (y/n) with me.”

 

 

**“What?!?!”**

 

 

“I swear to God, (y/n), it’s the truth.”

“Well since you don’t believe in him it doesn’t matter. And you’re a filthy liar.”

“I shit you not.”

“You’ve done some insane things, Dean, but that one is too much, even for you.”

“Which is why I keep photographic evidence.”

You spit your orange soda (the ‘pussy’ drink as Dean had eloquently put it) in a spray over the counter as Dean showed you the video of him doing donuts in a police cruiser in front of a station. You could hear his voice in the recording practically gloating ‘well I’m a wanted man already, anyway!’.

“Hey, boys like girls who swallow.”

“And girls like boys who aren’t complete assbutts.”

“I have a little black book that begs to differ.”

“All those numbers don’t mean shit when you don’t remember where you met them.”

“One phone call could change that.”

“Like Sammy would ever let you off duty for that.”

“Touche.”

 

You grinned at one another and clinked your cans, before draining your respective drinks and tossing the cans over your shoulders.

 

“I miss this.”

“There’s another 6-pack in the cooler, (y/n). You literally just have to walk five feet to get the bubbly nostalgia of three seconds ago.”

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

He chuckled deeply. “Talking shit about each other?”

“Yeah. Staying up and being stupid. Hating each other every other hour.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“And semi-accurate.”

He nodded ruefully and you reached forward to squeeze his hand. The sudden affectionate move surprised both of you.

“Hey. You made it weird this time.” He recovered quickly, but you were still reeling from that effortless motion that had happened before it fully crossed your mind.

“Yeah. My bad.”

You shoved your hands into your pockets and leaned back in the stool, trying to relax and at the same time putting some distance between the two of you.

“Guess I’ll hit the head then.”

“And then go to bed?” You quipped, and you shared the smile of two people with equally dirty minds. Something Castiel would never get.

“You know the drill.” There was the warmth of familiarity in his voice, but for once it put you on edge instead.

 

“And things will get back to normal tomorrow, Dean?”

 

The door to the motel closed with a solid thud, but his words lingered after to let you know the chapter wasn’t over.

 

 

“I don’t know if I can go back, anymore, (y/n).”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOHOOOHOOOOOOOOO  
> HELP
> 
> GIVE ME A SHOUT-OUT BELOW
> 
> RANDOM RAMBLINGS:  
> POLL 1: YOU KNOW THE DRILL  
> for once i really can't honestly answer. and not just because i have to come up with some stuff for the next few chapters. this is pure torture.
> 
> i wish i could take credit for the hit the head joke, but thats an american dad reference. which by the way is much better than family guy. just fyi. both pale in comparison to bob's burgers though.
> 
> poll 2: FAVORITE PART/LINE?!?!!  
> mine is probably tied between Cas's organizing fecal matter and dean's pinecone up the ass quip  
> hunts would be so much easier of angel baby was there to smite everything right?!?!  
> whats up with the nerf of angels, anyway?! i know it's so the boys can have more screen time/excitement, but come on, wasting valuable resources here!! angels are so fucking AMAZING but in every episode sammy has to hit a demon over the head with a chair just to get some breathing room or some shit like that.  
> course he looks hot doing that so...
> 
> poll 3: predictions/hopes and dreams?!?! i cant exactly say suggestions/requests because you guys know i'm a rebel and have problems following directions. keke
> 
> that's all this time lovelies!!! see you soon!!!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker
> 
> p.s. FUCK ME AND MY INABILITY TO END A FIC WITHOUT DRAMA


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> help this craziness keeps going and i can't stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the next installation to my bullshittery ;)
> 
> leave me a comment below lovelies!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky

“You can’t make me choose.”

“You know what you have to do.”

“But it’s so unfair!”

“Life’s not fair, (y/n).”

“That’s not up to you to decide, Sam!!”

“I’m not the one deciding the fairness of life. You, however, need to do some deciding.”

You covered your eyes and let out a deep breath.

“It’s just really hard for me, you know?”

“Be strong.”

“Fine.”

 

 

“I’ll get the cherry Icee. Although I don’t see why you never let me pick 2 flavors.”

“Because we make twice as many pit-stops as it is thanks to your small bladder.”

 

 

Back in the motel room, the road was the last thing on Dean’s mind.

“You don’t have to make some excuse about getting up early tomorrow. I’m just looking for some fun for tonight.” The blonde beauty pushed him onto the bed and pulled off his shirt.

“Back atcha, babe.”

Her lips were soft along his chest, and the tingling running through his spine was pleasant.

He had forgotten how easy it was; one night stands, clearing his mind with a nice fuck, and moving on the next day.

She tugged on his arms so he rolled on top of her, feeling the heat from her body press against his.

As her hips arched up to meet his, and he let out a smile.

“What’s on your mind, handsome?”

“Nothing but you. This.”

 

 

It was only a half-lie; the thought that it was nice she didn’t fight him to stay on top like you did was 50% about her.

 

 

 

“Do angels need to sleep?”

“No.”

“So you just spent the entire night watching me?”

Sam nearly spit out his coffee at the horrified look on Cas’s face.

“Of course not! I have other matters to attend to-“

“Relax, Cas. It’s a Twilight reference.”

“…the movie with the vampire and werewolf.”

“Look at you, picking up on pop culture.”

“One of the prophets watches it weekly.”

Sam choked once more, and you gave him a hearty slap on the back until he pushed you away.

“You know that doesn’t help, (y/n)!!” He coughed out.

“Any chance to hit you, Sammy Boy.”

He shook his head and walked over to the car to refill it. Dean would be mad that someone else was touching his baby, but apparently he was sleeping one off.

 

“Now that we’re alone…”

Cas looked mildly terrified as you dragged him behind a pillar. You let out a giggle. “I’m kidding. It’s just to annoy Sam.”

“Which is working!” Sam called from the driveway, before speeding off to find the nearest Chevron. Only premium gas for Dean’s girl.

“Actually there was something I wanted to…discuss.”

“As long as it’s not a threesome, I’m all ears.”

“Three-“

“Nevermind!”

 

 

 

“I can honestly say that was the best I’ve ever had.”

Dean smirked and propped himself on his elbows and admired the view as she shimmied back into her dress and pulled on her heels.

Stroking his ego and leaving without even trying to cuddle? This woman must’ve been sent from heaven.

Heaven. Now there was a subject that he did not feel like broaching.

“I won’t be leaving my number; you don’t look like the type who would call.” There was no bitterness as she blew a kiss over her shoulder.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re perfect for me.” And this was the truth.

 

“Really? Even better than (y/n)?”

 

 

“Cas, the fuck is it with you and walking in, bro?!”

 

 

 

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“Said he had some errands to take care of.”

“Like what, buying more feathers for his wings?”

You elbowed Sam as he stole a sip from your Slurpee.

“So you guys are what, steady now? Is that even legal?”

“I don’t think there’s anything in the US constitution about inter-realm relations.”

“Yeah, well it’s probably illegal in Russia.” He was trying to be snippy, but Sam was a quick forgive. Unlike some people. “Anyway, I meant according to angel rules.”

“Considering he rebelled against, I don’t know, everybody in Heaven, I don’t think slumming around with a mere mortal is going to give him any more demerits.”

“Fair enough.” He gave you a noogie to let you know he was cool with you guys. Not that you would’ve cared right now.

 

 

After what Castiel had just told you, it was a wonder you were still standing.

 

 

“What’s the matter? Angels don’t know how to knock?!”

Dean pulled his jeans on under the blankets, trying to keep a menacing look while feeling around for his boxers.

“There isn’t exactly a door to your mind, Dean.”

“…are you serious?!”

“Yes.”

He rubbed his face and sighed, before kicking away the covers. “Figures. The first good shag I get and it’s a figment of my imagination.”

“…(y/n) was unsatisfactory?”

 

This would be awkward even if they hadn’t both had…relations with you. However, Cas instead made a very uncomfortable situation even worse.

 

“You know what, that’s really none of your business. And I can’t believe you’d come barging into my dreams just to ask me that!!”

“I gather I have committed some social error?”

“No shit!” Dean wondered if he’d get permanent brain damage if he got into a fight with Cas in his subconscious.

“I apologize. That’s not why I came.”

 

Dean let out a growl and turned away, not ready for any type of reconciliation.

“Then why are you here? Hmm? Can’t get enough of pissing me off in real time?!”

 

 

“I wanted to let you know I’m taking (y/n) away.”

 

 

“…the fuck did you just say?!”

“Obviously the three of us working together has presented itself as less than ideal.”

“So- You- “ Dean waved his hands around, unable to come up with any words to cope with this ridiculous situation.

“And since this last vampire was not the first time (y/n) has gotten severely injured, even just within the last month, I will be taking her somewhere safe.”

 

“…you have no right.” Dean’s voice hardened as he gripped the sides of a nearby chair, using all his self-control not to pummel the Holy One into the carpet.

 

“I am the one most capable to protect her.”

“Are you saying I’m not doing a good job?!”

“That’s-“

“Are you fucking serious?! Last time I checked, you were the one who was late to the party.

 

**You were the one who almost let her die!!”**

 

“It continues to haunt me, Dean.” The sorrow in Castiel’s voice forced Dean to turn and look at him.

 

 

They stared at each other for a long moment, two best friends driven apart by what had started off as hilarious incident.

Somehow it had turned into a cruel joke.

 

Finally, Dean spoke. It was a long way from closure, but he had to ask.

 

“Why are you telling me this here, Cas? In my head?”

 

 

“Because I can see the way you look at (y/n), even if you won’t admit it.

 

And I’m ashamed to take that away from you.”

 

 

Then Sam was shaking him awake, and Cas was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALKDJF;ASDKJF;ALSDJF;ALSKDAF;JASLKDFJ
> 
> GIVE ME SHOUT-OUT LOVELIES!!!
> 
> Random Ramblings:
> 
> poll 1: WELL YOU KNOW THE DEAL
> 
> poll 2: fav part??  
> mine is probably the good old mindfuck in the beginning about icee...my bladder is not my friend
> 
> guys please give me some love below; i've been dealing with some shit and sometimes it's hard to get to writing, and you guys keep me going
> 
> i'll try to churn out another chapter soon lovelies!!
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a real chapter. This is just to let you know I'm alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my laptop was across the country in a repair facility for three weeks and I finally got it back today.
> 
> they finally fixed it!!
> 
> and...wiped out the hard drive even though it was a hardware issue.
> 
> but. it's not like i'm pissed or anything.
> 
>  
> 
> anyway here's a paragraph to keep you guys going while i recover all my old shit, fics included, from the wreckage.  
> wish me luck.
> 
> XOXO Bucky

“When can we go home?”

“I don’t understand. This is your home.”

“Who’s house is this anyway?”

“I found it off Craigslist.”

“…you what?”

“Dean said that Craigslist was a viable resource.”

“Either he was being sarcastic, or he was shitting you.”

“I gather there are multiple monikers for feces…am I correct in assuming this certain moniker has different meanings as well?”

“Yeah, like pulling your foot.”

“I don’t really welcome physical touch from him, feet or otherwise.”

“You-“ You weren’t sure who was more confused right now. Different tact. “So who do you welcome physical touch from, then?”

“Well, no one, really.”

“Really?” You reached forward slowly and placed one hand on his lapel. “No one?”

“…I may have misspoken.”

Your smile grew mischievously as you tugged his coat off one shoulder. “No one at all?”

“…just one.” He ran his hand through his hair nervously, before returning your smile with almost a hint of mischief as well. “I guess I should take this off-“

 

“No. Tie on.”

 

 

“Hey Dean, it’s me. I know you’re busy and all chasing mummies and girls’ skirts, but you can spare two minutes and hit me up, okay? You owe me. We fucked.”

You let out a small laugh, knowing he’d take it like the carefree joke you meant it as.

“I miss shooting things with you. I love Cas and all-“

You caught yourself; it was something you’d say so easily when he was just the adorkable angel you had a small thing for and needed a qualifier in conversation, but now you weren’t sure you could say it as such.

Or if you could say it in a new way.

Then you realized you were still on the phone. Er, voicemail.

“Anyway, I miss your ass. And Sam. Not his ass, so much. It’s not as fine as yours.” You chuckled at your little pun. “So I’ve rambled for one and a half minutes and you’re gonna call me this time.

 

Or I’ll give that crazy chick Stacy your cell number.”

 

 

Dean let out a chuckle that matched yours, before pressing nine to save the message for later.

“You gonna call her or what?”

“You always ask me that, Sammy. It’s really annoying.”

“Usually it’s about some chick you met in a bar last night.”

“We did meet (y/n) in a bar, remember?”

“Yeah. She marched up with a bottle of holy water in one hand and slammed your head into the counter with the other for ‘poaching her meal ticket.’”

“Funny how far we’ve gotten since then, huh.” Dean wasn’t laughing anymore, though.

“So I reiterate: you gonna call her?”

 

 

“This is the first time I wish you were talking about your stupid research.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random ramblings:
> 
> poll 1 stands as always. WHOOOOOOOOO
> 
>  
> 
> seriously cas with just a tie can you imagine?!?! *dies*
> 
>  
> 
> i've had SUCH a fiasco with this laptop i want to pull my hair out. strand by strand. except i just got it cut so it actually looks good now.  
> i have been hand-writing some shit that i'll type up and post here, but priority is recovering all my old stuff right now. so it's gonna be a while; you can take the extra time to check out my other stuff maybe? if you like avengers i have an adventure or eight around here somewhere.
> 
> take care lovelies!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky is still alive


	8. Valentine's Day Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovelies! Enjoy this chapter!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's been over four months since i updated this!!!
> 
> i'm truly sorry, but i lost inspiration for this fic soon after (and then almost all my inspiration for creativity in general due to recent terribly horrible events) but i'm happy and proud to bring you this chapter, and on valentine's day, the holiest of all love days (according to my hubby, anyway)
> 
> I haven't been able to come to a conclusion for this fic for so long and i didn't want to keep putting in tiny tidbits/filler chapters
> 
> in the end, this isn't quite the last chapter but i think it leaves the fic off on the type of mood i'd hoped i'd be able to do.
> 
> i might come back and finish this soon, but i can't help when the writing bug comes and goes, and i definitely can't control the shit that goes on in and around my life and the people i love.
> 
> without going into details (about my life or this newest chapter), i can only tell you that i'm very proud of what i've written, and i hope it tides you over until i come back to this fic once more.
> 
> so enjoy, and i hope you all are doing wonderfully and have a lovely valentine's day!
> 
> XOXO  
> Bucky the Mindfucker

“What are you doing?”

“Oop!”

You jumped a mile and a half and gave Cas a failing innocent look.

“If you’re putting bees in my pillowcase like you did with Dean that time we are going to have a problem.”

“No, you dolt!” You shook your head and pulled the fluffy monkey plushie from behind the headboard. Teddy bears were overrated anyway. “It’s for Valentine’s Day.”

“…” You figured he’d been on earth long enough to know what that was. Well you learn something new everyday-

“I have to go!”

You blinked as he disappeared before you could shove the monkey into his arms. Okay…

 

 

“Don’t worry; he just forgot, is all.”

 

 

“What is this, scare the shit out of (y/n) day?!?!”

 

Nonetheless, you turned and ran up to give Moose a hug. “Hey, (y/n).

 

And by the way, I didn’t teleport into the room suddenly like SOME people are prone to. I actually came through the front door.”

 

 

 

“Buying (y/n) a belated valentine’s gift?”

It was Cas’s turn to jump as a deep voice rang in his ear.

“…personal space, Dean?”

“Sorry. Just wanted to see how out of touch you’ve gotten. Which, evidently, is like 1000 miles.”

“…is that a song?”

“No. Well, yes. But I mean you’d normally notice if someone got within breathing distance of you. Let alone in an unfamiliar gas station. I managed to sneak up and shout in your face.”

“Which brings up the question, why are you here?”

“I like their pie.” Dean gave his annoying buddy a cheeky grin. Cas scowled at him in return.

“You’re not following me, are you?”

“Me? I have enough trouble tailing demons, let alone a constantly-disappearing angel.”

“Keep your voice down!!” Cas admonished, before darting his eyes around the practically abandoned Chevron station.

“Man you are losing your cool like nobody’s business.”

“Well, if it’s nobody’s business, it certainly isn’t yours.”

Dean shook his head, glad he and Sam had been able to do their missions alone. In-love-with-(y/n) Cas was about half as useful as regular Cas. Definitely about 10% as useful as Seraph Cas. Good grief.

“Where’s your brother?”

“Beats me.”

“Shouldn’t you be keeping track of him? Instead of stalking me?”

“Hmm, stalking? That’s definitely straight out of (y/n)’s vocab.” Dean smirked as he remembered how often you’d share a snide comment or lame picture from your exes/popular kids profiles, whom you were Facebook Stalking. "She's certainly rubbing off on you."

“Leave us alone, Dean.”

“Us?” Dean looked around exaggeratedly before shrugging. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Seeing as (y/n) isn’t anywhere around. Not that I’m surprised; ever since you decided to pull the vanishing act like a wimp she’s been under the radar. Is (y/n) enjoying house arrest?”

“She’s not under- I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

 

 

“Well, let me explain something to you.”

 

 

Cas sucked in a breath as Dean squared his shoulders, and prepared for the rare occasion in which Dean was lecturing the angel, and not the other way around.

 

“(Y/n) doesn’t like dark chocolate.”

 

With a sigh, Dean pulled a heart-shaped Ferrero Rocher box off a shelf. “Here. And you better head to Hallmark and get her a stuffed animal too. She loves those.”

Cas nodded slowly, half relieved and half guilty at Dean’s apparent resignation.

They stared at each other as if some unspoken truce was being delivered.

It was Cas who spoke up. “She got me a plush primate.”

Dean choked on his slurpie at Cas’s confused face. He was hopeless.

“Get her a giraffe. I think it’s her favorite animal.”

“…a live one? I’m able to reach the safari in a blink of an eye, but I’m not sure how practical-“

“A toy one, moron!!” He sighed and picked up a pad of post-it’s from the office supplies aisle, waving at the cashier to let her know he’d be paying for them. “Here’s the name of three stores that should stock them. And make sure you spend at least 30 bucks. She’s worth at least that much. Especially for putting up with your dumb ass.”

 

Cas stiffened at the insult, knowing that it was Dean’s way but not quite ready to go back to the status quo of before, before this whole mess had started. With you saying their names.

 

“Thanks.” He finally mustered, and Dean gave him a half smile in return. Cas took a tentative step towards him, not sure if a handshake would be appropriate. “So are we… uh, cool?”

“Yeah, man.” Dean was already scribbling on a second post-it, probably to give his number to the pretty lady working at the counter.

“Right.” Cas pulled his hand back to his side, almost beaming out of there before realizing he should probably pay for those chocolates. Humans and their currency…

“Hey.”

 

Cas looked up from patting his pockets to see Dean’s hand outstretched. He grabbed it for a firm shake,

surprised when Dean pulled him forward into some sort of weird hug. Dean patted his back roughly and Cas couldn’t help an embarrassed smile from crossing his face.

 

“I got the chocolates. I know you always forget to carry money with you.”

“…thank you, Dean. Really. I-“

“Just get out of here before that chick decides I’m gay.”

“Right-“

 

“But use the door!”

 

Cas nodded stiffly and sped out the door to find somewhere safe he could teleport from. The fact that he almost disappeared right in front of a witness was worrying. It seemed that with you on his mind, everything else became blurred.

Maybe he’d need to have a talk with you about this. Not that he didn’t enjoy being with you, in all those ways, but…

He shook his head. After everything, he wasn’t going to distance himself from the best thing in his life.

He just needed to keep his thoughts in order. Make a list.

First on the list; visit the three stores to find an enormous stuffed giraffe for his girl.

Actually, first on the list; get some money out of Sam’s stash.

 

 

“So you see what I’m saying?”

“…I guess…”

“Now I gotta go before Cas gets back. I don’t want him to know I intervened.”

“But-“

“Look, I was waiting for one of them to bring it up. But it seems both of them are too stubborn to do anything about it. And until this whole thing gets resolved, everyone’s gonna be off their game, Yoko.”

“I’m not-“ You spouted at him indignantly, but he cut you off with a quick hug and a guffaw.

“You’ll figure out what to do about it. I know you will.”

“It shouldn’t be my job to fix what’s mainly between the two of them.”

“Yeah, well it shouldn’t be my job to buy Dean pie when he never shares, but I do I anyway, don’t it??”

“Fair enough.”

 

You wanted to pull him by the arm and sit him down and have a real conversation.

About something besides the drama that went on when there was too much testosterone running around, maybe about this new series you’d started on Netflix,

or about how you were torn between the adrenaline rush and self-satisfaction of being a hunter and the rare opportunity to fall asleep and wake up in someone’s arms, feeling so safe.

 

But he was already out the door, leaving you with the burden of the knowledge Dean felt something for you. And you weren’t sure if you could return those feelings.

 

And it was the not knowing that scared you most, even as Cas appeared in front of you with a brown and yellow monstrosity that just demanded hugging.

 

 

 

“Are you sure you like it?”

“I ripped the buttons off your shirt, Cas. What do you think?!”

“…I suppose that was a display of gratitude if there were any.”

“How’d you know what to get?”

“I…” He wanted to give Dean credit without revealing the confusing journey of conflict to acceptance that had taken its course in your unawares.

“You’ve wooed thousands of women before me, haven’t you?!”

He shook his head sheepishly and ran his hand through your hair softly, relieved that you hadn’t been waiting for an actual answer.

“Just you, (y/n).”

 

 

And oh how he loved saying your name.

 

 

“Let me make us some food.”

“No, let me.” He leapt out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. “Breakfast in bed is a thing, right?”

“Well, it’s like 2:30. But lunch in bed should be just as good.”

“I warn you, I’m not the best chef.”

“PB and J is just fine, Cas.”

 

You’d talk to him about what Sam had told you, soon. Just not today.

Today was a holy day. And you wanted to just be simply happy.

 

 

Was the thought you had as you picked up Castiel’s clothes from where you’d scattered them.

Which was also when you shouted in laughter and nearly snorted a booger.

“(Y/n)?!”

“It’s nothing. Just remembering a joke I read on tumblr.”

“Oh. Okay. So, crusts cut off?”

“Yes please, Angel Chef.”

The rumble of his laughter joined yours, but he wasn’t seeing what you were.

There on the back of his trenchcoat was a hot pink post-it that read

 

“KICK ME”

 

You knew it was Dean’s doing and marveled at how he’d managed to sneak that one in.

They must’ve seen each together, then.

And he must’ve been the one who told Cas to get you a giraffe.

Dean’s the only one who knew about your secret love of fanfiction.

 

 

You felt the uncertainty bubble within you as you plucked the note off the jacket to throw away, or maybe put in your wallet to look at when you needed a laugh.

 

There was something written on the back.

 

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Fart Face.

 

Miss you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A;DSLFKJA;SDLFKJA;SLDKJF;ADLKSJF;ALKJDF;ADLSKFJ
> 
> YES THIS IS HOW I PLANNED TO LEAVE EVERYTHING. LEAVE ME A COMMENT BELOW
> 
> Random Ramblings:  
> Quick Poll 1: YOU KNOW THE DRILL  
> i have to be honest, i can't answer this because i love them both.  
> i almost threw in another mindfuck when sam goes to tell you 'the truth' that he reveals feelings that we're supposed to believe are dean's but are actually his own  
> but in the end i couldn't do that to me or my readers
> 
> quick poll 2: favorite part?  
> it was totally cheap of me to reference my own fic but stealing a giraffe is epic and thor deserves to be immortalized in all fandoms.  
> i think mine is between when dean tells cas to get the ferrero rocher and then when lovely finds the note. WAHHHH SO CUTE AND SAD  
> fyi the awkward bro hug was not only awesome because it's a bro hug between dean and castiel but because that's the opportunity dean took to put KICK ME on cas's back. destiel? or just pranky ;) 
> 
> whether dean was actually semi-tailing you and cas or it was a crazy coinkidink is up to you. though cas is liable to travel to a gas station that he's familiar with, it's quite possible that it's a gas station dean goes to often. hehe.  
>  
> 
> thanks for reading lovelies!! this fic is officially on hiatus until further notice; i hope you've enjoyed and feel free to read my other shit if you liked this fic!!
> 
> love all of you, you keep me going!! you lovelies and your support are a valentine's gift i never thought i'd be lucky enough to get.
> 
> XOXO Bucky


End file.
